Recently I had a chance to sit down and talk with Joe Biden. Here's how the interview went:

Newchoppa (best person ever): First Id like to say thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk to me.

Biden: No problem, anything for my fellow American-

Newchoppa: American? Im no stinkin American you dementia ridden old man! And isnt "fellow american" obamas thing?

Biden: ummmm uhhhhhh umh uhhh mhuuu uhhhhh

Newchoppa: Spit it out you Old fuck! What are you trying to Say?

Biden: Umm uhhh Thanks for voting...?

Newchoppa: you realize no one actually likes you, right?

Biden: well, actually, if you look at the popular vote, I won by a sizable margi-

Newchoppa: [Yawn]

Biden: Come one ma-

Newchoppa: Yeah, anyway. Rumor has it that you suck ass. Is this true?

Bolton: Yes.

Newchoppa: I thought so. You know, your politics is way shitty. How is it that you suck so much ass?

Biden: Ummmm uhhh well... I wake up every morning and take my pills. and take my pills. and take my pills. and take my pills. and take my pills.

Newchoppa: [looks over at camera crew] What the fuck is he doing.

Off camera 1: KATY!! HES DOING THAT THING AGAIN!

Off camera 2: BIDEN REBOOTING!!!

Biden: rebooting.

Newchoppa: Jesus Christ, What the fuck is wrong with this guy.

Biden: Hello, fellow americ-

Newchoppa: yea yea we already went over that. Speaking of being fucking gay, I bet youre a huge fun of sucking cock, huh?

Biden: Oh yea, I love sucking cock. As the president of the united states, I get to suck the very best of the American penis. Oh yes, let me tell you about Tyrone, Tyrone has the biggest schlong in the state, we call him Nig-

Newchoppa: Woah, hold it right there. Way more than I needed to know.

Newchoppa: [Flips through note]

Newchoppa: Man, you sure are a dipshit.

Biden: Yup, that about covers it.

Newchoppa Well, before I let you go, I'd like to thank you again for your time, good luck with your future projects-- no wait... choke and die.

Biden: Hey, no problem. Nice to meet you [reaches to shake my hand--denied].